My Channeling Experience Essay

1385 words - 6 pages

As I sat in my cold seat at my desk, I simply stared ahead blankly at the teacher who was lecturing us, only
half-heartedly noting that I was in a trance of wandering thoughts. I was in another dimension of thought;
contemplating on what had taken place within me for the past four or five months. Had this reverse in my life's polarity
really helped me? I noted it to be a mixed blessing. Why had God put me in this funny position anyways? I sometimes felt
so alone in what I was going through. My classmates just can't understand what's been going through me for the past
few months; to them my change in character meant very little or practically nothing. I had already felt completely isolated
once in my life.That feeling of isolation was now coming back, except for now it's of a far greater degree. I sat in deep,
unbound thought.
I steady glare from Mrs. Wertman, given as a warning, broke me out of this trance. I acknowledged my error and
allowed class to proceed. But even though I acknowledged it, that doesn't mean I had to correct it; I put my head down out
of her line of sight and slipped back into deep thought again. I was beginning to feel very humble; the thoughts of
me being the only student in Southridge High School who was deeply involved in New Age spirituality made me wish that I
had not pursued it with such drive. But that was then, and this was now. You cannot just break out of these things and
return to practical worldly thought overnight. I noted that during the past few months, many new social rings had either
been established or collapsed; this was because of my new way of perceiving life, and the actions that I took to comply
with my new views and their assertions. God knows that the past few months had been very stressful. Fortunately, the
loneliness that I felt was not completely negative; it made me feel good about myself, thinking that perhaps God saw me
as good and true in heart and soul, therefor granting me this gift early in my life. But the problems that I faced
sometimes were nearly unbearable.
A few social rings that I had long since planted myself in had been slowly crumbling throughout the past few months; most
of them were falling away quiet and peacefully. That is, all except for the one of my parents. I sat remembering many fights we
had; fights not only over what I was doing, but also over how much time I could spend on the computer getting assistance and
guidance from distant friends who had already achieved what I was dreaming of. I didn't think that there was any way that I
could peacefully hide this from them; the skirmishes had been occurring now at least twice a week, and it really tore me up
inside at times. For I never wanted to bring harm or anger to them, but for some evasive reason they continued to lash out at
me over minor flaws, or sometimes just for no reason at all. I tried to affirm myself that I was doing all that I could, and I
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