The Lasagne Incident Essay

917 words - 4 pages

There comes a point in a marriage where you simply run out of things to say.
“What’s the time, Maureen, love? ‘Am getting peckish.” Gordon MacLeish hated his wife. He really could not think of a more repulsive person than his own goddamned wife.
Maureen was slouched on the beige, faux leather, sofa; her sausage like fingers, with nails encrusted with what Gordon could only think to be crumbs of the chocolate muffin she had eaten earlier, picking at the corner of the flaking cushion beneath her. Gordon decided that because she had never played bingo; he couldn’t refer to the revolting flapping skin in place of a bicep on Maureen’s arms as bingo wings.
She’d let her wiry, not so recently dyed brunette, bobbed hair dry so that it floated in curly wisps around her face. This did little to hide the tsunami tide of grey encroaching in on her head. To compensate for the fact that she would not go to the bother of actually styling the fried mess she called her hair, Maureen attempted to radiate youth by smothering her sagging face in thick, pale powder. Gordon didn’t know how to tell her that this just gathered in her wrinkles making them all the more obvious.
Some people refer to wrinkles as laughter lines but Maureen, Gordon thought, never laughs – perhaps hers are frown lines – she’s usually grumpy about something.
“I’ll put the lasagne on now then if you’re hungry.” Maureen grunted as she prepared to hoist herself up from the sofa and slid her hairy toes into a pair of once white slippers. As she spoke her thick, liver spotted neck condensed into several extra chins. She wriggled to the edge of her seat and then swung her huge body forward, gathering enough momentum to lift herself from her seat slightly. With an almighty pull on the arm of the sofa, her face beading with perspiration, Maureen hauled herself upward. Still panting, she tugged at the wide, elasticated rim of her jeans, which – although she was not pregnant and had not been for twenty six years – were from the maternity section and were falling down.
She began to lumber out of the lounge, scratching her enormous expanse of stomach, heaving her legs forward as if they were concrete car park pillars.
“Yer ‘ip still giving you jip?”
This merited another grunt from Maureen but this time she nodded lethargically in Gordon’s direction, leaving him to assume that her bloody hip was indeed; still sore.
As Maureen left, the floorboards seemed positively thrilled: squealing in delight as they were released from under her crushing weight. Jesus she was fat.
Gordon got up from...

Find Another Essay On The Lasagne Incident

Revolutionary Work of Art Essay

1890 words - 8 pages Walter Benjamin emphasizes in his essay, “The Work of Art in the Age of its Technological Reproducibility” that technology used to make an artwork has changed the way it was received, and its “aura”. Aura represents the originality and authenticity of a work of art that has not been reproduced. The Sistine Chapel in the Vatican is an example of a work that has been and truly a beacon of art. It has brought a benefit and enlightenment to the art

Enlightenment Thought in New Zealand Schools

1594 words - 6 pages In this essay I will be looking at how the political and intellectual ideas of the enlightenment have shaped New Zealand Education. I will also be discussing the perennial tension of local control versus central control of education, and how this has been affected by the political and intellectual ideas of the enlightenment. The enlightenment was an intellectual movement, which beginnings of were marked by the Glorious Revolution in Britain

Psychological Egoism Theory

2240 words - 9 pages The theory of psychological egoism is indeed plausible. The meaning of plausible in the context of this paper refers to the validity or the conceivability of the theory in question, to explain the nature and motivation of human behavior (Hinman, 2007). Human actions are motivated by the satisfaction obtained after completing a task that they are involved in. For example, Mother Teresa was satisfied by her benevolent actions and

How Celtic Folkore has Influenced My Family

1587 words - 6 pages Every family has a unique background that influences the way they live and interact with other people. My parents, who emigrated from Ireland to the States with my three brothers in 1989, brought over their own Celtic folklore and traditions that have helped shaped the way our family operates and lives. One aspect of folklore that has helped shape my family dynamic is the Celtic cross—both its background and what role it has played in our lives

Julia Margaret Cameron

1406 words - 6 pages At a time when women were looked upon as being homemakers, wives, mothers and such the late 1850's presented a change in pace for one woman in specific. Photography was discovered in 1826 and soon after the phenomenon of photography was being experimented with and in turn brought new and different ways of photo taking not only as documenting real time, but also conceptualizing a scene in which an image would be taken. Julia Margaret Cameron will

Evaluation of School Improvement

1403 words - 6 pages The evaluation process should be progressive to incorporate overall planning, implement changes, which contribute to success. In order to focus on school climate and norms, the evaluation design must include the students, instructions, and outcomes to improve communication and building-level concerns to be address in this response. School Climate and Social Norms The school principal, other staff leaders, and personnel set the tone and the

Case Study: The Benefits of Animal Testing

1757 words - 7 pages heart transplant that will save her life. The transplant goes extremely well and now Amy has the opportunity to go to high school and live a normal teenage life.  Like Amy, many lives are positively transformed due to the amazing surgery of organ transplants. Scientist and doctors are due the credit for this amazing procedure. However, often overlooked, is the fact that this fascinating medical procedure would not be possible without the use of

Myth and Magic: Realism in "One Hundred Years of Solitude"

1531 words - 6 pages “He enjoyed his grandmother's unique way of telling stories. No matter how fantastic or improbable her statements, she always delivered them as if they were the irrefutable truth” (Wikipedia, 2011). Experiences are particular instances of one personally encountering or undergoing something and in these moments of time life changes for the best or the worst and memories are formed. These recollections such as riding your first bicycle, going to

Adiponectin: a Novel Indicator of Malnutrition and Inflammation in Hemodialysis Patients

2384 words - 10 pages Objective Protein-Energy malnutrition (PEM) and inflammation are common and overlapping conditions in hemodialysis patients which are associated with increased risk of morbidity and mortality. Adiponectin is an adipocytokine which is exclusively produced by adipose tissue. Few studies in hemodialysis patients have demonstrated that serum levels of adiponectin were significantly higher in malnourished patients compared to well-nourished ones. The

The Congo Free State: A Legacy of Apathy, Exploitation and Brutality

2298 words - 9 pages Between 1885 and 1908, Belgium’s Leopold II ruled Congo, a region in central Africa, as his personal colony, exploiting the resources and inhabitants for his own gain. Leopold allowed and encouraged Europeans and other Westerners to enter Congo and set up companies whose primary purpose was to gather rubber, which was abundant but difficult to get to in the Congo, using the Congolese as the laborers for the Europeans. Rubber gathering in Congo

Selective Exposition in The Lottery, by Shirley Jackson

1073 words - 4 pages Usually when someone hears the word “lottery” the first thing that comes to mind is a large sum of cash that people compete against highly impractical odds to win. Shirley Jackson’s story The Lottery might imply a similar conception based on the title alone, but the story is filled with unknowns never revealing exactly when and where the story takes place, or why the lottery exists; even what the lottery is isn’t revealed until the very end. Yet

Similar Essays

Successfuly Providing Feedback Essay

992 words - 4 pages – not by being showered by the uncooked ingredients of a carbonara. A second irony was that this all occurred while I was doing very badly at Psychology experiment. The incident I speak of took place at the start of my final year of my undergraduate degree. I was taking part in a class on ‘Cultural Evolution’ and our teacher took the opportunity to involve us in a study she was conducting. We all sat around the outside of a large table, a

Clothes Essay

897 words - 4 pages open laughs from the students at the front. I looked down to where their eyes must have met the large and rather grotesque stain of last night's "˜lasagne for one'. I stood still, shocked at first with myself for bypassing the mirror on the way out that morning, and then at the impeding embarrassment. That split second of my life felt like an hour. I felt my face burning crimson and my legs beginning to do that thing they always do

When The Bubble Burst Essay

1539 words - 6 pages By the time I arrived state side from my second tour in the Middle East the housing bubble had already burst. I noticed a drastic change in the way that many of my friends and family were living. Several of my friends that worked in real estate had sold their boats and seconds houses. My own stock portfolio had lost a third of its value. My sister and her husband had defaulted on their home mortgage leaving them scrambling for a place to live. I

Phase Diagram Essay

4456 words - 18 pages Introduction: Chemical equilibrium is a crucial topic in Chemistry. To represent and model equilibrium, the thermodynamic concept of Free energy is usually used. For a multi-component system the Gibbs free energy is a function of Pressure, Temperature and quantity (mass, moles) of each component. If one of these parameters is changed, a state change to a more energetically favorable state will occur. This state has the lowest free energy
Norton Antivirus paid apk download | Tim Draxl | Uninhabited Planet Survive